ASK DR NOVOA – Why do MEN always want to have ANAL Sex?


A survey performed by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) in 1992 showed between 20-25% of both men and women were having anal intercourse. The most recent CDC survey (2006-2008) showed that over 44% of men and 36% of women ages 15-44 who are heterosexual engage in anal intercourse. This means that almost 1 in 3 men sexually active heterosexuals have engaged or regularly engage in anal intercourse. It appears that the popularity of anal intercourse has significantly increased over the past 20 years. The most recent data shows that 1 in 4 couples routinely practice anal sex.

So, despite the fact that the subject of anal sex seems to be initiated more often by the male partner, a significant number of women are requesting anal intercourse. Nevertheless, studies still show that heterosexual men are more likely to request anal sex with their female partners than the other way around. To be specific, we are talking about heterosexual intercourse between a man and a woman, where the man penetrates his partner with his penis in her anus.
Five Common Reasons Heterosexual Men like Anal Sex with their female partners are:

  1. It gives him a sense of power … It may sound very territorial and Neanderthal, but men often state that they enjoy the control and empowerment anal sex gives them. Since anal sex can produce a significant amount of pain, allowing the male partner to penetrate you in this way can represent a complete sign of submission, as well as entrusting your partner not to hurt you while at the same time hoping to pleasure you. If you enjoy it and are able to reach orgasm because of it, this simply caters to the male ego even more than with vaginal intercourse. FYI, the anus has more sensory nerves than the vagina, although most believe that “anal orgasms” are actually due to pressure applied/stimulation to the clitoris or G-Spot.

  2. You trust him … The fact that you let him share a part of you that requires the utmost trust gives him a sense of being special. And it is more than just about participating in a sexual act. If you are nervous about anal sex but you agree to try it, your partner will feel that you are putting all your trust in him.

  3. It’s something new … While vaginal sex is often considered to be the most pleasurable, at some point, everything can become routine. So if and when the topic of anal sex is brought up, most men will be willing or excited to try it. And let’s be realistic, he is going to be more excited about it than you because IT’S NOT GOING TO HURT HIM!!!! It’s like the saying, “If Men had to get pregnant and have babies, the human race would go extinct.”

    Also, always remember the number one rule. Never tell your man you have tried anal sex before unless you are willing to try it with him. Men always compare themselves to other men, so NEVER tell your man anything you are not willing to try again, or he will always feel that he was not as special as your previous lovers. Remember we have very fragile egos!!! So, it is best to let him think you have never tried it before, so it can be new for both of you.

  4. Men love your butt … The three most common areas of attractiveness on a woman, besides her face, are the breasts, legs and buttock. Men often say, “I’m a butt man” or “I’m a breast man.” Thus, anything to do with the buttock can be very attractive. For some men, it is a very exciting modification to the “doggy-style” position.

  5. It’s very tight … The most common reason for wanting to have anal sex, is that the anus is expected to be tighter than the vagina. The anal sphincter is designed to keep the anus almost “air-tight” closed. The vagina has the pelvic muscles to help keep it tight but not closed. No degree of Kegel exercises can make the vaginal and the pelvic muscles tighter than the anal sphincter. For the man, the idea of a tighter opening is often thought that it will produce more pleasure for him.

Although anal sex has now become a relatively common practice, it is still considered a taboo. It still carries a significant amount of stigma, especially for woman who enjoy it. In a loving, mutually beneficial relationship, there is nothing wrong with enjoying anal sex. However, engaging in anal sex does pose problems. Anal sex is associated with an increased risk of transmitting disease, such has Herpes, HPV or HIV. Despite this, and an increased risk of gas and fecal incontinence, there are no significant medical risks associated with anal intercourse.

There are also concerns about keeping everything clean. You should never switch from the anus (A) to the vagina (V) without having your partner completely wash his genitalia. This could lead to fecal contamination of the vagina and a very bad vaginal infection.

Therefore, when having anal sex, just remember the slogan, V to A is ok. A to V, no way!!!!

If discussing or having anal sex is a real turn off for you, consider telling him the following, “I will, if you let me do you first!” That usually makes him change the subject really fast!

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Filed under Blog, Female Sexuality, Gynecology, Questions of the Day

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